A true story of the time I turned into a werewolf when I was 7 years old.
I'm out of bed in a flash. The dark of the night is swathed around me, but I pierce it with my thoughts, and split it open with my sudden urge to obey: write.
I remember when I was seven years old. I used to lay in bed at night making paper airplanes, thinking, conversing with the Great All That Is. Even at seven, it was the unseen things that held my interest. I was living in a little mustard colored house on Clark Street. It was the end of summertime, between first grade and second, and I was secretly staying up past my bedtime, making paper airplanes with deep meditative focus in the glow of the night light.
My sister and I shared a bedroom, and she, being 2.5 years younger than me, was already fast asleep in her little bed against the opposite wall. I was hard at work on my planes (each one had a unique personality and was decorated accordingly) ... when something... a voice... spoke to my consciousness, too loudly to ignore.
GET UP AND GO LOOK IN THE MIRROR.
I hesitated a moment as I processed the fact that no one was awake but me. No authority figure had suddenly walked in and instructed me thus. And yet... I heard the voice as clearly as I had ever heard anything.
Again the message came.
GO LOOK IN THE MIRROR.
The voice seemed familiar somehow. Safe. It was firm in its direction, but perfectly calm, communicating with both kindness and irrefutable authority directly to my mind. The compulsion to obey was absolute. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world.
Completely without fear, I set down the plane I was making -- it had red stripes and a sort of naughty grimace -- got up off my bed, sheets not yet turned down for the night, and walked quietly over to the large mirror on the wall.
I could see my whole 7 year old body in the glow of the night light, clothed in a flowing baby blue nightgown. I had two long blonde braids, hanging one over each shoulder. My eyes were gray blue and I stared directly into myself.
OPEN YOUR MOUTH, the voice instructed.
So I opened my mouth. Widely. There, before my very eyes, were long werewolf fangs. I touched them, marveling at the sight of them protruding from my gums. I felt the sharp tip of an upper canine tooth against my small fingers. Wow. The thrill of self-realization shot thru me.
I closed my mouth, took a breath. Waited a minute, then opened it again... they were still there. Werewolf teeth. I somehow understood in that moment that I was seeing a glimpse of my true identity. There was something beautifully monstrous about me, and the knowledge swirled around me like magical cloak.
I tried to wake up my sister to show her, but she was fast asleep, breathing deeply. Seeing she could not be roused, I returned to the mirror and looked at myself some more, beholding both my reflection and my shadow in the mingling glow of moonlight and night light.
YOU ARE NOT LIKE THE OTHER CHILDREN. YOU ARE SPECIAL. YOU ARE UNIQUE.
The voice communicated directly to my mind, but this declaration did not surprise me. I had always known.
YOU ARE NOT A NATURAL HUMAN. WE HAVE MADE YOU AFTER THEIR LIKENESS AND HAVE PLACED YOU HERE. BUT U ARE DIFFERENT. YOU HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT PURPOSE. YOU HAVE SPECIAL GIFTS.
My heart swelled with noble pride and I felt compelled to wake my parents and show them my true identity. Were they also like me? Did they already know? What about my little sister? My baby brother? Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted as a strong sense that this voice belonged to my true parent washed over me, and I understood I was not to leave the room. Instead I was to stand still and receive information.
So I stood in front of the mirror and listened as thoughts were pumped into my mind, flickering into my awareness one after the other. I got the sense that the thoughts were actually being sent all at once, but I was perceiving them slowly, catching fragments here and there... single threads in what was really a complex tapestry.
Millions of images flooded my mind, some of me doing amazing things, like flying upward into the sky. I saw myself at school and everyone staring in awe as I levitated above them.
In my mind I heard the voices of the school children screaming, "she can fly!"
Which pleased me immensely.
Eventually the images being broadcast to my consciousness faded away and the voice fell silent. I was again alone, standing before the mirror in the glow of the night light, my little sister's deep breaths whirring at barely perceptible volume in the background.
I did not want to go to bed. No way. The world had changed! I didn't want to waste even a moment sleeping now that I knew the extent of my true nature! Life was magical!! I wanted to savor the experience. Relish it.
So slowly, ever so slowly, I began to unbraid my hair, eyes locked on my reflection. Watching myself in the mirror, I unwound my curls. I leaned forward and ran my tongue along the tips of my fangs as my blonde ringlets came loose in my fingers. Taking up the hairbrush, I brushed out my hair slowly, slowly, slowly, opening my mouth and beholding my magical fangs as I did so.
I don't know how long I stood there admiring the magnificent yet ferocious creature reflected in the mirror before me, but at some point, when at last I was too tired to keep my eyes open any longer, I picked the paper airplanes up off my bed and carefully placed them in the brown grocery bag where I liked to keep them... sliding the little red-striped grimacing plane on top. I peered across the room at my transmogrified countenance one last time before I pulled down my comforter and slid into bed, hair loose and wild about me.
The next morning when I woke up, I leapt immediately from my bed, the exhilaration of the night before still fresh in my auric field.
I'm not a natural human! I am something more. Something greater! With laser sharp self awareness, my pulse was whirring in my ears. I felt each heartbeat, each surge of blood as it whizzed in rhythm thru those once seemingly human veins. The blood of something supernatural. Today was the beginning of the rest of my life!!
I raced to the mirror and locked eyes on my reflection. My hair was still loose and wild about me, free from my usual braids. The rubber bands that had held my braids were still by the mirror. I opened my mouth to behold the monstrous glory of my true identity in the fresh light of the morning...
Let us herald the new day! The dawn of my reign on Earth!
Heart pounding, I curled up my lips and twisted my tongue. But wait. This isn't right. Where were they? The werewolf teeth? The symbol of my transformation? The grotesque proof of my divine birthright?
WHERE WERE THEY??
Before me was the reflection I had always known. Nothing about my teeth seemed anything other than human.
I couldn't understand it. Clearly I had taken my hair out of my braids the night before.... my hair was still unbraided. I hadn't imagined that. I looked beside my bed and saw the brown paper grocery bag. I pulled out the red striped airplane... it was just as I had seen it when I tucked it away the night before, while my fangs were intact.
Everything I had done the night before remained: my hair, my airplane. It was evidence that this experience was no ordinary dream...
It was all just as it had been.... except my smile. Which by now was no longer smiling.
I stood there with the sinking feeling that it might be a while before I would be flying above all the children in the school yard. Before my powers would be made fully manifest for all to see.
As I stood looking once again into my gray-blue eyes, I saw something reflect in the mirror. It was a glimmer of light. And a calming sense of reassurance rolled over me. It must be, for reasons I didn't know but had to accept, important that nobody knew my true identity. Not yet. For now, this was my secret.
Someday... someday. Someday the world would find out.
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