This song is a ghost story! A TRUE GHOST STORY.
I recorded it before the fire using my 1983 Juno 60, Analogue Solutions TMK, Leipzig and Nyborg, and a little DX7. All those synths burned up in the fire... so it's not just a ghost story about a dead person speaking out from beyond the grave, it's also told by dead synths.
So gather around the ornate brass candelabra dripping with burning wax candles, my little space kittens. It's time for a story about an army veteran named Grady who was very, very in love with a beautiful woman named Tricia... who just so happens to be my mother.
During his life Grady was madly in love with Tricia. They had been together almost 20 years, and still acted like teenagers mooning over each other. They built a beautiful life and thought they would grow old together, but Grady fell ill unexpectedly and died soon after while still relatively young.
Tricia was heartbroken when she learned he was dying, and the lovers made a pact. Once his soul left his body, he would try and stay in this realm long enough to communicate that he was still here, and he would do so by "doing something with the electricity." Being a master electrician, it seemed appropriate for him to communicate this way.
It just so happened that in the last few months before Grady's death, I was visiting the family home for an extended stay. Grady and I were in such close physical proximity that we shared a wall. My studio desk, synths, computer, monitors -- everything -- were up against that wall, and on the other side, inches away from my studio setup, was the bed where he spent his last few months of life.
He left a strong energetic imprint in that space during those final months, drawing down a dense vortex of energy born from the pain of being torn away from Tricia decades sooner than either had believed possible. The energy permeated everything, and being, as I am, sensitive to such things, I was hyper-aware of his thought-forms and waning life-force.
My whole family was gathered around Grady when he died, and Tricia held him in her arms as he took his last breath. When he left his body, we could all feel him depart, and at first we thought he was truly gone.
But he had a promise to keep.
The next morning we were all gathered in the kitchen -- my sister, my brother, my mom and myself -- and one of us said, "I can't believe he's really gone."
Suddenly the lights in the kitchen flashed on and off, as if to say, "I'm still here."
We all stopped talking and stared at each other wide-eyed.
My brother, being the logical one of the family, shrugged and said, "that's probably just a coincidence."
Then, as if in answer, all the power in the whole house shut off, then on and off again! The whole house went dark, but the neighbor's porch light was still so this was no Pacific Power outage. A minute later, the power went on again, and we knew what it meant.
It was Grady, keeping his promise to signal that life, indeed, continues beyond physical death, and to show Tricia that he was, in fact, still with her.
After his passing he spiritually lingered, performing a series of tasks he and Tricia had agreed upon before his death as means of communication, typically involving making the lights and electrical elements in the house go berzerk, and he kept up with things like that for years.
One particular afternoon, my mother was scrubbing the floor like a maniac. Already OCD enough to be considered eccentric, she was scrubbing harder and faster and crazier than usual, and I could feel Grady as though he walked in the room... and he was telling her he could see her, and although she couldn't see him anymore, he was still there.... "are you listening?" his spirit called. Thanks to that radio receiver in my head, I found myself an open channel for his spirit -- and just like that the song began to come thru me.
Oh yeah how you doing
baby I been talking to u
trying to get u thru it
baby are u listening?
i haven't left just like I swore
I see u when u wash the floor
u can't see me anymore
but baby are u listening?
Although I've always heard music on those divine frequencies, I'd never had a ghost or spirit of someone I knew come thru in the way Grady did. I felt his energy swell and I heard thoughts in my head that became the lyrics to this song.
I knew I could never bring him back, or take away the pain of the loss of her soulmate, but I felt a sense of rightness being able to gift my mother his message from beyond the grave.
It was a unique experience for me, balancing the energy of Grady's lingering spirit with the energy of the voice of inspiration from WHEREVER it is I usually receive it. There was Grady's voice, the invisible radio in the sky's voice, and me.... triangulating to make this song. It happened very quickly on a New Years Eve.
The video:
Since all those cool synths burned up, I couldn't very well use them to make a video, so I "played along" on the Jupiter 80 to make the video.... but in a perfect (and factual) world, I would be on that Juno most of the time with lots of Analog modular knob turning.
Appropriate to the story, I made sure to capture the "cleaning the house" vibe..... because that is what my mother would always do to HER house... and I wanted to capture the feeling that Grady was watching her wash the floor from his disembodied state.
And yes I already know... I have a fucking fabulous house.
Subscribe to my YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGecIwbHqFo
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