Hello, Made of Stars. I never gave up on you. I always knew you were destined to be wonderful. You were destroyed so many times. Every time I lost a piece of myself along with u... but I never stopped fighting to put us both back together. Now I hold u tonight
for the very last time -- automating the only MOS audio file that didn't burn in the fire. In my headphones tonight, you sound like a dream... sizzling thru the speakers of broken electronics. I will miss tweaking you, and thinking about you, and worrying about doing u justice. Fly little bird. It's time.
Sound Recording:
This song is particularly meaningful to me because of how many times I tried to record it, and failed, over the course of a literal decade. Something always happened and I would have to start over, and a bond began to form between myself and this song that is hard to explain.
This version was recorded during a severe thunder storm in Ashland, OR and there was so much electricity crackling thru the air that my wires were buzzing and my mic was picking up AM radio signals that bled right into the track. Any sane producer/engineer would have shut off the computer and tried again later. But not me, because I'm a lunatic. See, the thing about art is.... sometimes it comes down to moments like these. It felt like a duet with electricity, and there was no way I was missing out on that experience! I'll never forget the feeling of standing in the static, hair on end, singing with the forces of nature. I couldn't have asked for a greater gift.
All the distortion and signal noise is naturally occurring in the vocal track due to severe electrical interference. Shortly after recording these vocals, the studio was struck by lightning, and I lost my entire computer, many of my digital instruments/components, and all the songs that I hadn't backed up. (Guess I should have unplugged my computer when I finished. Goddammit.)
Fortunately this version of made of stars I backed up that night before the lightning struck. That's the only reason it even exists. I made more versions of it after the lightning strike... better versions... but I lost those in the fire. Why do you do this to me, Universe?
Video:
After the fire I spent weeks, sleepless and in shock, scouring my emails and private online accounts for any remaining shreds of my life's work. I'd been secretly hoarding massive numbers of unreleased songs, planning a musical blitzkrieg of epic proportions... only to have it all wiped out (AGAIN) by the wildfire.
And then.... somewhere in a dropbox folder... I found a video I had started working on but never finished, long forgotten after being sidelined by the lightening strike. It was set to an old version of Made of Stars. It wasn't mixed right and had a couple bad digital patches that I replaced with analog instruments in a later version... but it survived, and because it was the only version to survive, I released it. Watching it transports me back into the magical neon belly of my old house and studio in their glory days before the Almeda fire ended an era.
Although I lost my best mixes, I was able to detach the audio from the footage and open the file in logic to give her one last treatment. The sound was thick and muddy and dark with no highs, so I automated a multi band EQ to give some clarity and open up the sound. It still sounds like shit to me. But it's magical shit. And I love it.
There are things, little things... big things.... so many things.... that when I hear them, I cringe and wish I could fix them. So badly. But the logic files are gone... and the universe says it's time to move on.
So I am. But I still love her. And I want what's best for her. I know she can be so much better than this.
I somehow doubt this is the last version of made of stars I'll ever make.
Fun fact:
I spent so many hours creating different versions of Made of Stars that it's become a running joke between me and the few people who know my music. Where will Magic be in 50 years? Mixing Made of Stars.
Lyrics:
We're made of gas, we're made of carbon
We let our love go the way of the Martian
Are we alone in the world? Why does a boy leave a girl?
If we're made of stars, and that's all we are
and that's all we'll be, then that's fine with me
as long as we burn together
we will go on, carried along, in the words of this song
after everything's gone
ready or not the hour is at hand
Ready or not it's time to wake up dreamland
it's time for u to see ur cosmic destiny
if only u could hear me
// psssst!!!!! I started a Facebook groupie thingie... come be one of my first fans. I have like 8 so far. lol. here's the link... find me: facebook.com/WakeUpDreamland
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