In honor of Spock and Christine Chapel...
All I ever wanted was the dream. Everything. All of it. And I'm not talking about Ferraris or Gucci or millions of dollars -- although I wouldn't turn down any of those. I'm talking about love. Dream love. Fated, destined, star-crossed love. The kind I've dreamt about since I was 14 when I would lay in bed at night listening to Tchaikovsky's 1st piano concerto on an old record player and singing quietly to myself, "someday, although I do not know when, I will find u."
Little did I know that from under the puffy pink comforter in my teenage bedroom, I was seeding the quantum field. Creating my future with whispered words in haunted melodies. But for such a task one needs to be very specific... because, after all, if one isn't, the universe fills in the blanks. And apparently I failed to specify the very significant detail that once I FOUND my love, I could actually HAVE my love. Oops. My bad.
So I find u.... great.... now what? It's not like we can be together.
This has caused me major emotional inconvenience for a very long time, but really that's ok because music is, and should be, my true love and only master. The bond we share is greater than any longing, and at the deepest level of cosmic mechanism, the longing is just the quarter I stick into the gumball machine to make the songs come out.
Sound recording:
This song was made in an hour. Written, recorded, done. All one minute of it. haha.
I'd been listening to vintage love songs, like Carole King's So faaarrrr awayyyyy... and many others. A special feeling came thru songs from that genre in that era specifically from the piano arrangement and chord progressions. I sat down in Logic with a piano/string patch and tuned into that heart space to write my own old school love ballad. I couldn't decide what key I liked it in best, so I messed around with modulations so I didn't have to choose.
I always planned on writing another verse but never got around to it.
This recording is literally just vocals and one instrumental patch backed by one track of live ambient analog synth magic. All that beautiful true analog goodness comes from the Nyborg 24. Great synth from Analogue Solutions that's hard to find now because it's been discontinued.
In this track u get to witness, in all its glory, and to the point of caricature, what I like to call my bouncing ball vibrato. It's like there's a little unicorn inside and I have to let out a whinny to let the shimmer out. Because unicorns shimmer, and I can't shirk my duties.
Music video:
I'd never contemplated making a video for this song before. This was not one I ever expected the world to hear. But when I decided to make a video every week, I knew immediately that I wanted to film this one and wear a Star Trek dress. What better analogy for unrequited love than Spock and Christine Chapel?
No, the red dress picture isn't from the video. I wish. I lost a lot of great Star Trek footage in the fire. But I still had a digital copy of this one. Shot by Mark Arinsberg. Love it.
Fun facts:
When I was little, my sister and I used to stay up at night telling what we called "Star Trek stories." They usually started off with us getting one wish and using that wish to wish for whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted it forever and ever and ever... and with this power we would wish ourselves onto the Enterprise, into Starfleet uniforms, and then onto the bridge where we'd get up to all kinds of mischief.
Sometimes one of us would kiss Spock.
xx magic
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